Coversations with the Mirror
by Kamikakushi
Summary: Tenten has a series of conversations with her own reflection following the certain anxiety-driven crises in her life that affect her life and relationships. Especially with a certain someone. NejiTenten.
1. first talk

**Conversations with the Mirror **

_the first talk_

* * *

The truth is that you are not supposed to be in love with him. Not someone like him, just_ him_. It would be a lot easier if it were someone _like_ him. Then maybe, everything would be easier. But it's your own fault, you conclude. You could've helped it; made sure you were distant enough. But in the end, you couldn't; you couldn't stay away, because he was your best friend, and he needed you—you were his confident, and he trusted you. But what kind of friend are _you_ for falling in love with him? 

Its clichéd, really, it is. He's an heir—the pride of a family that's so obsessed with blood and honour; the depth of it all so profoundly confusing for you. You don't understand that kind of devotion. You love your family, and you protect them. But he isn't just the son; he is the man whom a clan would soon depend on for their future. And no matter how much you strive and work for, what you achieve and make, you are in the end still just a nothing-special sort of girl. You're not some fantastic princess with long, raven tresses flowing against her shoulders and eyes of a bright warm amber. You're the girl with the silly brown hair and eyes; not too tall or short, not too pretty or ugly. You're the something-in-between. A nothing-special sort of girl. Of course you don't match up to him.

So, in the end, all you can be is his most loyal shadow.

Because, that's what you are, aren't you? The little black specter that lies beneath each of his footsteps, following him as surly as the moon's light. Is that the friend in you, or something else? Because you shouldn't be that close. You're not supposed to be that close. Lee, maybe, but not _him_.

But he's not forbidden territory. You've been teammates…_friends_…for how long now? Going on ten years, maybe? You don't even remember, do you? As friends, you're not supposed to like him that way. Why can't you be like everyone else? An implausible crush on Sasuke would be more plausible.

He depends on you. Your words, your faith, your opinions…they count, they mean something to him, even if you don't know why. He needs you now, more than ever, and you're not supposed to be anything more than just that girl by his side.

I mean, what do you expect? Some wonderful romance and he'd sweep you off your feet? God, that's tacky. And you don't even _like_ romance. You're a hardcore girl. You should be more excited about weapons than fantasies of the girly variety. And _he's_ not exactly the romantic type anyways, and you know that if he were, you'd probably think he was sick or something.

Get over it!

It's not a big deal; it isn't a big deal. It'll all go away eventually. Because, in the end, he's just your friend. You are his confident. No matter what happens, you will always be loyal to him, fighting by his side. That's what he needs. Needs you, just you. Nothing romantic, nothing sweet and fantastic. He needs you to be strong for him; he has to deal with things he doesn't want. He needs you to assure him; so stop doubting, and stop question. Finish it. End of sentence. Don't be such an idiot.

You're not supposed to be in love with him. It's wrong and unnatural.

And why does it have to be him?

Because he's wonderful? Because he's strong, and loyal, and brave, and you know he would go out of his way to save your life. In fact, he's done it many times. But he's not in love with you. You are his dependent. And you are not supposed to be in love him.

You're…just not.

Okay. Shut up. You're talking to yourself. Take a shower. Get dressed. You have training to do.

* * *

**AN:** This was inspired by a series of rants I did for myself in the mirror, after having a panic attack concerning my midterms. If you talk to yourself, ever, I'm sure you'd be able to relate to Tenten's situation. There will be more conversations in the mirror; I think. How this is going to end, I'm not sure yet. Depressing? Happy? We'll see how it goes. On a side note, this was also the product of listening to three hours of No Doubt. I am such a child of the 90s. 

_Jia Zhang_


	2. second talk

_the second talk._

* * *

Dammit. Get a hold of yourself. Look at yourself; what the _hell_ were you thinking? I mean, have you lost your freaking mind or something you freaking moron! Did you ever _think _about the goddamn consequences?

But no…you just _had_ to act all big and stuff. I swear to god if your boobs were as large as your ego…well, your chest would be a lot bigger than it is. But that's not the point. You've become self-centered. You need to stop worrying and meddling in other people's business! This is a _horrible_ habit that you have! I mean, where do you go off judging other people—making fun of Gai and Lee is one thing, but you were totally out of line!

Okay, so she had it coming. She's annoying; your opposite in every aspect of the word, but it does not excuse your behaviour. Which was appalling. Thank god Shino was there to save your ass! God knows anyone else would have let you die in that grave you dug for yourself. I mean, seriously! What _were_ you thinking!? You could've done some real damage.

…but god! She was just _so_ annoying; with her high and mighty attitude. She _deserved_ it.

But—no, no, she didn't deserve it, and you are a horrible, horrible human being for thinking that, and doing what you did! You have problems woman! You are crazy!

You are talking to yourself, after all.

You were wrong to challenge her. You have no place to do so. She is not for you to judge. She's his _betrothed_ for god's sake. _Betrothed_—you know what that means right? She's going to be his wife, his pretty little stay-at-home-I-make-killer-food wife. The _only_ person you should be concerned about is poor Hinata, who's not going to deal well with that kind of girl at all. You know she's gonna _eat_ Hinata _alive_. Yes, you are her friend. You should help her. That should be your _only_ worry. He's not your concern. He's only your concern if it's professional—friend-related, because you're not in love with him, and you should support him and not act like a deranged person who goes and challenges his fiancée to all out freaking brawl!

You _knew_ she's be no match for you, you egotistic ass. You _knew_, yet those big fact words just had to leap out of your mouth. She's not much of fighter! She's not supposed to be! What you did makes you _way_ worse than how Sakura and the rest of them used to be about that damned Uchiha. They just fangirled, and stalked. You attempt murder. I mean, even Ino wouldn't go this far if she and Shikamaru were in the same situation!

Thus, you are a crazy, crazy woman who needs to be locked up.

God, you seriously need to shape up here. You're too old for this kind of pettiness. She's not a completely _horrid_ human being. She's pretty…she's…oh who the hell are you kidding? She's a trophy, nothing more.

But it's _his_ decision to accept the betrothal. You have no place to say anything. You are his _friend_; you're supposed to support his choices, even _if_ you think he's lost his marbles, and is possibly making the worst mistake of his life, but remember, you need to _support_ him. He's not stupid…not…well, a little stupid, but he's no Lee. C'mon! Even Lee wouldn't be as ridiculous. So trust in his choices. He knows what he's doing. You are his _friend_. _Friend._ F-R-I-E-N-D. He's your buddy; you guys fight together, look after each other's back. You offer him advice; you are _not_ supposed to go beat up his _betrothed_.

You know what doing things like that make you?

A psycho. A crazy person. A lunatic. Look up the synonyms in a thesaurus, and your picture is next to it. Drop this; leave it alone. It is _not_ your place to make such assumptions about other peoples lives. Stop meddling. Find yourself a man, that's…_not him_!

Oh god, you reek: you so need a good shower.

* * *

**AN: **Okay, so it is now absolutely confirmed. This will becoming a small ongoing story. How many "conversations" there will be, I still don't know yet. This is supposed to be a pretty sporadic piece of work. I personally view it as therapy, and pay not great attention to it. However, if people like this, then all the better. I can confirm, unlike about ninety-five percent of my work, this _will_--absolutely--have a happy ending. Because I feel like it. Also, for people who read _Shakespeare Lives_, take this as the road I am taking to once again working on that. Domo.

_Jia Zhang  
_


End file.
